Thursday, May 25, 2006
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the demise of friend and war hero...name unknown, gender unknown. For convenience sake, we have no choice to name it(?) Hairband.
Hairband died heroically while fighting the dreaded enemy, Kezia Toh Li Min.
We have since erected a magnificent grave for such a worthy legend.
As you can see, on this day, a luminous cloud hangs in the distance.
We have also specially paved an arrow pointing towards the position of the enemy, to caution everyone of danger. I'm sure Hairband would be proud.
Cranes were also placed around Hairband's grave to give it(?) wings. Though ironically, they symbolise longevity. Of course, Hairband will stay in our hearts and minds forever.
Please do not get too distraught upon seeing Hairband's tortured body. Indeed, it causes me great rage to say that it(?) lost it's(?) MOST IMPORTANT PART. The part sadly broke off and *choke* all we have is the broken body.
I'm sure the rest is pretty self-explanatory. For now ladies and gentlemen, let us take one minute to remember the joy and strength Hairband brought to our lives.
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(Insert sobs here)
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(More heart-wrenching sobs)
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*sniff* Thank you everyone.
Note: All parts of this speech were composed purely out of the author's imagination, with reference to various important human ceremonies.
4:03 PM
