Friday, February 24, 2006
I figured where that star on the map was. What a sense of achievement (albeit over the weirdest things).
It got me thinking actually. About the days in REAL. I remember Samantha was there, and so was Ps. Cuixian. Mei Yin too perhaps? Don't remember anymore. Most of the lazy bums went off! Wahsey such big cheats. XD
LOL! Anyway, I had a good time. We jogged passed the canal way back to where the rich people lived. Ridiculously nice houses they had. When I make it big and earn lotsa kane I wanna buy a house like that.
I kinda like jogging, and running at times. Dad lies when he says it's easy once you start jogging. That's ridiculous. It's never easy, especially once you get pass a few rounds. At least to me it isn't. It's the aftermath that is exhilarating. The feeling that you accomplished something despite being a (in my case) fat arse with short legs. In any case, I never run more than I have to. People like me are lazy in that way.
I miss the REAL people. It hurts when I ponder on lost friendships. The relationships I worked so hard to build up are all gone now. It really, really hurts. I don't want to try to make close friends anymore.
Once I used to call Samantha 'nechan'. I used to be able to tell her everything. Look at what has happened.
Once I used to hang around with Justin all the time. Well mostly in China. Honestly speaking I felt most comfortable when I was with him. Now, look at what has happened.
Once I managed to convince Shin Yeong to let me go to her house. We bought ice cream and she let me eat frozen kim chi XP Then we watched spastic Korean movies. For the first time she opened up a little bit more to me. And look what happened.
Once I used to comment on Dorcas's blog like a stalker. Look at what has happened.
The rest ain't bad. Either I was never that close to them, or I am still able to hold pretty good conversations with them once in awhile. Celestine, that means you honeeey. Of course, Mei Yin's an amazing friend now. Thank goodness nothing went awry with this one.
Was it my fault though? Was it because I didn't work hard enough to maintain these relationships? Did I not put in enough effort and time? I don't know. It's all so frustrating and painful. So I figure, I shall hold on tight to those who matter...and as for those who could POTENTIALLY mean something to me, I shall push away.
Just like how I can't really tell you when or how I make my friends, neither can I explain when or how these relationships come to a close.
11:18 PM
